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If only I could blame this on drugs….

 

 I did it again.  The overdramatic, squealing, overzealous, make a quiet person run like hell, conversation with a brand new friend.

Granted, there is a HUGE part of my personality that wants to be best friends with everybody.  Well, maybe not everybody, but frighteningly close.  And I’m generally a happy person.  OK, not THAT happy, but you get my drift.

So, when I meet somebody I just know I’m going to adore, I feel like I’m back in first grade.  The insecurity sets in and I turn into a freak of nature.  A happy freak, but still…a freak.

It took 30-something years to finally realize that I am AWFUL at new friendships.  I revert back to that first grader standing on the playground, asking the new kid if they’ll be my best friend.  My eyes are wide, my heart is in my throat and I’m as drop dead serious as a first grader can be.  And something in me just knows we’ll make the best of friends.

Now I realize that may be pretty normal for first grade, but if you do that as an adult you’ll never hear from that person again…EVER.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, then there are the people who are doing what I merely dream to do—who seem to have that “everything-they-touch-turns-to-gold” life.

 

 Even their worst seems better than my best.

 

 They embrace life with a fearless fervor that leaves me in their wake, staring after them in wide-eyed wonder.

And, as the dust of their trail stings my eyes and turns my gaping mouth to grit, they become something more than skin and bone to me.

Somehow, I forget about idols and God and that I’m supposed to look to one person alone to tell me who I am.  And suddenly…I am less than who I was before.

 

i am not enough.

 

Not enough to change anything, not enough to be heard, not enough for anything.

But as I stare after them, I wonder why I’m still standing here?  And I wonder who I am…who does God say that I am?  Because I want to know.  I really want to know who the One who created me says I am.

Somehow, I doubt that the One who breathed life into me would be standing here with me, staring open-mouthed at all this flesh-and-blood “majesty.”  I seriously doubt that He would give a *&%@# about all of the things we so strive to be, all of the names we try to brand into the memory of the world around us, all of our names.

 

DUST

 

One day, our mouths WILL open in wonder, but it will be at the sight of our Savior, not the fame of another.  And it won’t matter how much we sparkled here, or how many cried out our names, or who looked longingly after us.  For then, and only then, our earthly glory will fall away and we will see that what we were groveling after was merely flesh and blood like us.  We will see that all of these shimmers of glory, were just that—traces of HIS glory that He allowed us to carry.  And it will be His glory alone that will remain.

May we cry “Glory!” now in all our shimmer and shine, or as we wipe the gold dust of another from our gaping, gritty mouths.  May we cry “Glory!” NOW as we stand before Him.  For the glory we are chasing can never be ours.  HE is the famous one.  He will NOT yield His glory to another.

 

 

SCRIPTURE FOR STUDY:

 

1 Peter 1:17-25

“…Live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear.  For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ…For “All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord stands forever.”

 

John 5:44

“How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God?”

 

2 Corinthians 10:12-13

“We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.”

 

2 Corinthians 10:18

“What you say about yourself means nothing in God’s work.

It’s what God says about you that makes the difference.”  (MSG)

 

Psalm 115:1

Not to us, O Lord , not to us but to Your name be the glory, because of Your love and faithfulness.”

 

Isaiah 43:7

“Everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for MY glory, whom I formed and made.”

 

Isaiah 42:6-8

“I, the Lord , have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles, to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness.  “I am the Lord; that is My name! I WILL NOT GIVE MY GLORY TO ANOTHER OR MY PRAISE TO IDOLS.”

 

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